Los Suegros
Just a couple of weeks ago, Spencer and I were faced with one of the biggest decisions we've made in our marriage so far. With everything that is going on with COVID-19, and BYU-Idaho telling students to avoid moving back to Rexburg, we had to decide what we were going to do next semester. We already signed a contract, but we were considering moving in with my parents in North Dakota for Spring and Summer.
We discussed, in great detail, the pros and cons of each option. One of the cons of going to North Dakota was that, by doing so, we would have lived with family for 13 out of 16 months of being married. THAT'S INSANE.
Of course, we made it a matter of fasting a praying and decided that we needed to go to Rexburg. As much as I love my parents, I don't think we can handle living with family for the third time in our marriage.
This week, I received confirmation that we made the right choice for our family as I read this quote from Spencer W. Kimball:
However, we have not regretted the previous choices to live with family. The first time, Spencer had a job lined up for him in California and it would be too expensive to get our own place for just five months. So, we lived with Spencer's parents for the first five months we were married. Here in Utah, we are living with my aunt and uncle during our internships because all that Spencer earned would have all been spent on the expensive rent of apartments here in Utah County. Plus, it was difficult to find a three-month contract.
Just because they were the right choices for us doesn't mean it was easy. You are always living in someone else's house and have to abide by their rules. There's less privacy. You can't make the space quite your own. Annoyances and differences surface along the way.
So, if someone is debating whether they should save money and live at home or get their own place, good luck! It's a tough decision! You want to be responsible and save money, but at the same time, you crave that independence and privacy. Remember what President Kimball said, and more importantly, that the Spirit will lead and guide your decision.
Kimball, S. W. (1976, September 7). Oneness in marriage. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/
ensign/1977/03/oneness-in-marriage?lang=eng
We discussed, in great detail, the pros and cons of each option. One of the cons of going to North Dakota was that, by doing so, we would have lived with family for 13 out of 16 months of being married. THAT'S INSANE.
Of course, we made it a matter of fasting a praying and decided that we needed to go to Rexburg. As much as I love my parents, I don't think we can handle living with family for the third time in our marriage.
This week, I received confirmation that we made the right choice for our family as I read this quote from Spencer W. Kimball:
President Kimball said it loud and clear - try to avoid living with family if possible, not because you don't love them, but to live your own lives.
Couples do well to immediately find their own home, separate and apart from that of the in-laws on either side. The home may be very modest and unpretentious, but still it is an independent domicile. Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever; you cherish their counsel; you appreciate their association; but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it. To cleave does not mean merely to occupy the same home; it means to adhere closely, to stick together (1976).
However, we have not regretted the previous choices to live with family. The first time, Spencer had a job lined up for him in California and it would be too expensive to get our own place for just five months. So, we lived with Spencer's parents for the first five months we were married. Here in Utah, we are living with my aunt and uncle during our internships because all that Spencer earned would have all been spent on the expensive rent of apartments here in Utah County. Plus, it was difficult to find a three-month contract.
Just because they were the right choices for us doesn't mean it was easy. You are always living in someone else's house and have to abide by their rules. There's less privacy. You can't make the space quite your own. Annoyances and differences surface along the way.
So, if someone is debating whether they should save money and live at home or get their own place, good luck! It's a tough decision! You want to be responsible and save money, but at the same time, you crave that independence and privacy. Remember what President Kimball said, and more importantly, that the Spirit will lead and guide your decision.
References
ensign/1977/03/oneness-in-marriage?lang=eng
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