El Divorcio

This past summer, my husband I were living in California with his parents shortly after getting married. We volunteered to be chaperones at the local high school dance with the incentive of free Chick-Fil-A. While we were on the lookout to make sure none of the students tried sneaking into the hotel bar, another middle-aged chaperone came over to talk to us. After introducing ourselves, he inquired of our age and then promptly told us that we got married too young and that we would end up getting divorced. My jaw hit the floor! I couldn't believe this stranger, who knew nothing about us, was telling us we were headed straight for divorce!

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I view marriage as sacred. Marriage isn't just a piece of paper or something that gets thrown away when things get hard or something better comes our way. However, it would be naïve to ignore the prevalence of divorce not only in today's society but within the Church of Jesus Christ as well. So, it's important to understand what church leaders throughout the years have said about the topic of divorce. Let's dive in:

Divorce and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

"Divorce"

Elder Dallin H. Oaks

"Because 'of the hardness of [our] hearts' (Matthew 19:8-9), the Lord does not currently enforce the consequences of the celestial standard. He permits divorced persons to marry again without the stain of immorality specified in the higher law. Unless a divorced member has committed serious transgressions, he or she can become eligible for a temple recommend under the same worthiness standards that apply to other members" (Oaks, 2007).

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"When a marriage is dead and beyond hope of resuscitation, it is needful to have a means to end it" (Oaks, 2007).

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"I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache" (Oaks, 2007).

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"Under the law of the Lord, a marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing. If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us" (Oaks, 2007).

"Father, Come Home"

James E. Faust

"Over a lifetime of dealing with human problems, I have struggled to understand what might be considered “just cause” for breaking of covenants. I confess I do not claim the wisdom or authority to definitively state what is “just cause.” Only the parties to the marriage can determine this. They must bear the responsibility for the train of consequences which inevitably follow if these covenants are not honored. In my opinion, “just cause” should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person’s dignity as a human being" (Faust, 1993).

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"At the same time, I have strong feelings about what is not provocation for breaking the sacred covenants of marriage. Surely it is not simply “mental distress,” nor “personality differences,” nor having “grown apart,” nor having “fallen out of love.” This is especially so where there are children" (Faust, 1993).

I could go on and on, but I strongly believe that these quotes show that members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believe that marriage is sacred and worth fighting for. While there may be certain circumstances that permit divorce and/or remarriage, our standards for getting divorced is much higher than most. 

References

Faust, J. E. (1993). Father, come home. Retrieved from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1993/04/father-come-home?lang=eng

Oaks, D. H. (2007). Divorce. Retrieved from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2007/05/divorce?lang=eng